Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Trinkets That Should be in WoW, But Aren't...

While my wife was playing Glitz today, I got REAL bored and put together this list of trinkets that SHOULD be a part of our Alexstrasza experience, but are not. They are based on a few people I've recently encountered in one way or another and are mainly just make ya giggle a little. They range from Uncommon to Legendary (guess whose is Legendary =P), and actually consist of as many negative stats as they do positive ones. It was actually a little fun putting this together, so I'm sure more will come. Have fun with it. ;)

Trinkets That Should be in WoW, But Aren't...

Amani's Bicycle
+ 5 Agility
Use: Teleports you to the nearest LAN center.
Equip: Decreases rep with the opposing faction by 270.

Blawle's Ass
- 79 Spirit
+ 57 Strength
+ 49 Agility
Use: Blinds your target with their own tears of QQ for 8 secs.
Equip: Increases resistance to children by 51.

Demordrah's Alts
+ 60 Stamina
Use: Calls forth 39 Sicilians to fight at your side.
Equip: May cause a strong urge to watch The Princess Bride, decreasing Intellect in party members by 30.
"Never cross a Sicilian when death is on the line."

Evil's Cheese
- 12 Intellect
+ 50 Stamina
+ 49 Spirit
Use: Launches a flame at the target, dealing 1722 - 1975 fire and ego damage.
Equip: Increases troll-feeding tendancies, resulting in a much more interesting blog.

Ferraro's Microphone
- 14 Strength
+ 14 Stamina
+ 14 Spirit
Use: Causes surrounding targets to hear manly voices in their head, causing them to flee in terror for 3 seconds.
Equip: Increases stealth by 34.

Jagoex's Couch
+ 109 Stamina
+ 85 Intellect
+ 79 Spirit
Use: Causes your target to enter a state of complete self-doubt, lowering ego resistances by 350.
Equip: Increases stealth detection by 278.
Equip: Increases mental damage and healing caused by logical tells and effects by 425.

Jezza's Box
+ 34 Strength
+ 44 Agility
Use: Calls forth an angry teenager to fight at your side until he's suspended.
Equip: Increases stealth by 48.
"Injuring the box will lead to serious pains in the groin."

Knoxx's Kitty
+ 60 Spirit
Use: Causes friendly targets to purr at you.
Equip: May cause you to speak in baby talk at random.
"Such a gooood kitty aren't ya! Yes, yes you are!"

Measty's Logic
- 14 Intellect
+ 12 Spirit
Use: Causes your target to run around in circles aimlessly for 2 secs.
Equip: Disguises you as a suit-wearing politician.

Nahtia's Identity
- 19 Spirit
+ 22 Agility
Use: Horrifies the target with sounds of Xaytanic's laughter, causing them to flee for 5 secs.
Equip: Increases the chance enemies will attack you, causing constant and unnecessary raid wipes.
"For kicks."

Oort's Mouse
+ 60 Agility
Use: Confuses the target's mind with clicking sounds, increasing time between attacks by 20%
Equip: Grants immunity to carpal tunnel syndrome.

Quickshift's Bunk Bed
- 18 Intellect
- 17 Spirit
+ 14 Agility
Use: Raises your resistance to reality by 70 for up to 56 years.
Equip: Causes surrounding targets to laugh uncontrollably.
"I call top bunk!"

Sixis's Golden Showercap
- 22 Intellect
+ 54 Stamina
+ 49 Spirit
Use: Releases a stream of energy at the targets legs, damaging them for 956 - 1184 fire damage and slowing their movement speed by 50%.
Equip: Will cause Nikto to break up with you.

Zyphre's Mind
+ 60 Intellect
Use: Causes target to enter a state of existentialism, decreasing their haste rating by 27.
Equip: Increases bullshit detection by 70.

Well there ya have it. The first list. Now, before you go and be a copycat on your own blog, give me some feedback here (freakin' ninjas). ;)



EvilCheeseWedge said...

This post delivers.

Jade said...

Where's mine? :(

I made you one:

Glitz's Love at First Sight
+25 stamina
+25 intellect

Equip: Causes surrounding targets to stop and stare for 10 seconds. This is a stun effect.
Use: Calls forth a glamorous twin named Elektra that healbots you for 2 minutes, also may periodically leave surrounding enemies stunned for 20 seconds.

Jezzastipsy said...

I like.

sixis said...


Netherdream said...

where's mine?!?!


so that enchanted weekend you and i had at your cabin meant NOTHING!?!? WHORE!!!!

JAGOeX said...

lol! Jade, that's just epic. No, it's legendary. Kinda like my couch.

I was actually working on yours and Nethers but didn't really like where they were going, so I'm putting a bit more thought into them before posting.; XD

Zyphre said...

This post does indeed deliver.

No bullshit here. And I should know.

JAGOeX said...

Nice. You equipped it. ;)

Zyphre said...

Yeah everyone passed on it because no one new wtf existentialism was. Except for me of course.