Monday, August 27, 2007

Perfect Fucking Sweater

You know those days where you sit around lazily at your computer - the one that doesn't have WoW installed on it - browsing the net for anything worthwhile, and find a most mundane item that gives you a laugh greater than you ever expected? Well my friends, today is that day! I found an article on The Onion's website that totally set my metroness ablaze. I'm giddy. Totally.

"Talk about a perfect goddamn sweater. I may have been 20 feet away from the display, but I was already thinking about how I would wear that fucker. Would I go classic Garrett Alford and wear a white T-shirt underneath, or would I maybe get a little crazy, wait for the perfect fall day, and bust out my plaid shorts? Sweater with shorts. Pretty awesome, right? Most people would balk at such a combination, but I wasn't fucking around. And with its unbelievably versatile wool polyblend, dry-clean-only material, the sweater wasn't fucking around, either—especially not at $39.95."

Having read through that piece, I totally want to sue that guy for copyright infringment because I swear I have had thoughts like those only about a million times this summer! But it's good to see that I'm not totally alone in my quest for hawt outerwear, even if it results in a nude mannequin. And OMG, I nearly shit myself when I read...

"See, even though I am in no way gay, I knew the sweater had the potential to make me look handsome: By tucking in the shirt and adding a tie, I become this suave gentleman who your parents are going to lose their shit over."

I so did that during my school interviews and got compliments left and right! I wore my hawt little black sweater with a silver tie and dark bluish-grey button-up shirt. It was pure hawtness, lemme tell ya.

Geezus, I swear I had a connection to make here. Hmm, sweater, Warlock. OH! That's right!

Nope. Nothing.

Damn.

Oh wait, yes. If you play a Warlock, you MUST own a hoodie. It's like a pre-req. After all, Warlocks are emo, and emo kids love hoodies. =)

Off to the GAP after work. Laters.

4 comments:

Zyphre said...

What are you trying to say? I have a for the horde hoodie. I am no warlock.

Anonymous said...

you are so scaring me jago.

sixrawr the sevenrawr the hustle.

Jay said...

2 warlocks makes you twice as emo, right? =p

JAGOeX said...

Damn straight. ;)