Monday, April 30, 2007

How to Melt...

How to Melt Your Woman:

- Cut 1/4-1/3 cup of cookie dough into a circular shape. Place in the center of a plate.
- Place two scoops of French Vanilla ice cream on top of the cookie dough.
- Top with streaks of melted caramel and hot fudge. Place a cherry on top if you'd like.

WARNING: May create unrealistic expectations of future desserts, which may lead to a level of biatchness previously unseen in your woman.

How to Melt a Mage:

- Roll a warlock.
- Cast Curse of Tongues (or cast Deathcoil if the mage starts with casting polymorph).
- Cast Fear.
- Cast Corruption, Immolate, and Siphon Life where applicable
- /Point
- /Laugh
- Rinse and repeat.

How to Melt Chocolate:

- Bring a pot of water to a boil.
- Place a smaller pot in the pot of boiling water.
- Place chocolate in the smaller pot and stir until it is the consistency you desire.

How to Melt a Rogue:

- Make sure the Rogue is made of chocolate.
- Bring a pot of water to a boil.
- Place a smaller pot in the pot of boiling water.
- Place the rogue into the smaller pot and stir until it is the consistency you desire.


Zyphre said...

How to Melt a warlock if your a mage-

Be on a pvp server, play a forsaken.

Be mostly fire spec with a hefty amount of fire spell damage

Spam fire spells at 41 yards until they realize whats happening

Dont bother emoting because you are often too far away for them to see.

If they are soulstoned get more in range and emote them. Know how to use counterspell and will of the forsaken properly.

Let them rez, leave the area for a bit then come back and wait until they are again in combat.

Assuming they dont have a felguard, repeat prior steps. If so find something more productive to do.

How to melt a warrior

Play a mage, druid, warlock, paladin, shaman or priest.

Try not to feel sorry for them.

JAGOeX said...

How to counter a sneaky PvP-server Mage:

- Once hit with a fire spell, start running in a single direction if you don't see the mage at this point.
- Put your pet on defensive if it isn't already. Follow your pet to the mage.
- Assume you'll lose about half of your health (10k+ health ftw) - have your healthstone ready for consumption.
- Once you are within range of the mage, Deathcoil.
- Curse of Tongues.
- Fear.
- Corruption, Siphon Life (If applicable) and Immolate.
- If the mage ice blocks at this point or at any point, bandage accordingly.
- Cast Fear, timing it to land as soon as the ice block expires or if the mage removes it early, cast it immediately.
- Re-cast Curse of Tongues.
- Re-cast Corruption, Siphon Life, Immolate.
- Cast Drain Life if you are still missing a chunk of health, otherwise cast Shadowbolt.
- Cast Shadowburn (If applicable).


Zyphre said...

Jago why the hell cast CoT on a mage anyway, a smart mage has self decurse bound to a mouse wheel o.O

You wont live if you do anything but run toward a properly geared fire mage.

Fire spec mages don't ice block. They 3 useful instant casts that all do a minimum of 1k.

Smart mages know how to counterspell a lock, and not to waste it on immolate (fireward ftw)

Another important thing -

Bring a bored overgeared warlock buddy in case you fail.

If you fail, grief them untill they either log or have an epic flying moun :(

JAGOeX said...

I use CoT because it's so annoying that mages will constantly decurse vs. casting. And if they are not casting, they're not doing any dmg. If they are casting, it's at a much, much slower rate than otherwise.

Zyphre said...

You just constantly fight nub mages :)

JAGOeX said...

Well yeah, because:

1) I'm on Alexstrasza
2) All mages are nubs (oh schnap!)
3) I'm on Alexstrasza

Anonymous said...

Jago I'm glad you're staying. You're one of the good ones.

Zyphre said...

You have a bunch of typos there. lemme correct them.

1) I'm on Demordrahs lap.
2) All frost mages are nubs (oh schnap!)
3) I'm only cool because of Zyphre

JAGOeX said...

lol? Lies.

Zyphre said...

Thats a relative statement jago. I reject your reality and substitute my own.

JAGOeX said...

You watch too much Mythbusters.

Zyphre said...

Though I do love that show, thats not where I got the quote :P

Now I am gonna crit you with wikipedia.

"I reject your reality and substitute my own!" (This quote was originally from the movie The Dungeonmaster and popularized during the show's 10th regular episode, where he and fellow Mythbuster Jamie Hyneman tested the "rip a car off its rear axle" myth as seen in the movie American Graffiti.)

JAGOeX said...

Heheh, what we do when we're not logged in.