Monday, April 7, 2008

Just for LoLs

I'm not quick to admit it, but I'm a big fan of all of those Chuck Norris jokes floating around the internets. After dealing with Trade chat chaos and flying through The Barrens about a million times, I should be sick of them, I know. But there's just something about them that keep me coming back for more.

Here are some of my favorites:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Macgyver can build a plane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris is suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.

Chuck Norris doesn't fear Warlocks. Warlocks Fear Chuck Norris. (HA!)